God grant me the serenity....

to accept the things I can not change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference....

I have been saying this to myself for a few weeks now. It is my favorite prayer since it allows me to see my abilty to take charge of my own life in many ways...something that is much easier said than done!!! MANY of you know how anxious I get with issues involving my children. Like most moms I just want life to be perfect for them and get a little crazy every once in a while since this often leads to me not givng myself a break. Kurt and I have not spent a night together away from the kids EVER and the only time I have been away from them overnight was to have Reese. And for those of you who dont have kids...labor and delivery isnt exactly a vacation!!!

It took me FOREVER to get my first babysitter for the kids...and even longer to actually enjoy myself while I was away. Reese's Godmother Rebecca was the 1st person to watch Keegan while we lived in Clovis. She was sooooo excited to spend time with him and get a baby fix and I REALLY needed a haircut and some highlights. Kurt was of course TDY so I decided it was time to leave him for a few hours. Our friend Laura was even there just hanging out...so Keegan had tons of adult supervision from 2 very well qualified ladies. I got to the salon and basically gave the stylist and ultiimatum to do my hair faster than she had ever done hair before. I was soooo scared that Keegan was crying and lost without me. She hurried and I was out of there in about an hour. I was starving but did not stop to get anything to eat and I am sure I broke all sorts of traffic laws to get home. I arrived to a smiling happy Keegan who had 2 women hugging and kissing him. He never cried...didnt even miss me. Did this make me more confortable leaving him. NOT AT ALL!!! I figured it must have been a fluke!!! Seriously, what is wrong with me???

I do NOT have an easy time walking away from the kids and leaving someone else in charge. I do not think that I have control issues...but I am sure I am in some sort of denial. Maybe Kurt would tell you the truth when I wasnt around:)

Anyway...I have signed the kids up for a Moms Day Out program. It is an amazing concept where a bunch of moms get together and form a co-op to take care of each others kids and give the other moms a break. SO....the mom that has more separation anxiety than her toddlers is signed up and the program starts this week. And so the panic attacks have begun!!!!

I will be dropping my kids off once a week...and volunteering 2 times a month (and I even get to take the kids with me on those days). I was soooooo controling that I made sure to volunteer on the 1st day that class started so I could be there with the kids on their first day. I know...NEUROTIC. I am just hoping that the preschool , kindergarten, and high school teachers dont mind if I sit in on class for a few days also:) Anyway...it is only 3 hours and the program is tons of fun, but I have completely convinced myself that MY kids will be "those kids". You know...the ones whos moms have to be called back b.c they just can handle it.

I am sure they will be fine...but I just wanted all of you to say a little prayer for the 3 of us this week that all goes smoothly. I know I really need a little break...and it will be sooooo great for the kids to have a regular dose of social interaction without me breathing down their necks.

I know I can not control this situation and I just need to have faith in my kids...but say a few prayers anyway. We will take all we can get!!!! Hopefully in a few days the kids will be having the time of their lives, making new friends and I will be with my friends having coffee and getting a pedicure:)

Hope everyone had a great weekend...

Love to you all

Annie